Things are already brighter! Mere hours after enduring the worst inning of the year, the Cardinals told Miguel Batista to make haste for the nearest old folk’s home. Gone is his startling average of five walks per nine innings (for a reliever!) and his terrifying FIP. He will be relieving games in heaven from now on, I guess (oh wait, he’s not dead).

To fill Batista’s spot, the Cards promoted Lance Lynn, who was effective if unspectacular in his recent stint with the big league club.

Now if we could only get the same thing to happen to Franklin, Tallet, and Miller!