Jake Westbrook gave the Cards a chance to win, but the National League’s leading offense™ went AWOL once again. In attempting to crawl back into the game late, the Cardinals come up short as St. Louis lost a second straight game to Milwaukee 6-3. Does this stupid-ass team realize that it’s still officially in a pennant race??

NOT BADBROOK: Was Westbrook’s performance tonight award worthy? No. But, once again, Westbrook provided a solid-enough start (5 innings, three runs) that gave the Cards a chance to win. Westbrook’s biggest problem tonight were the walks (he gave up four in five innings), but overall he was okay. But who can expect any pitcher to work from behind like this? Must every starter go out to the mound every night and pitch PERFECTLY to even have a chance?? Where is the fucking offense??

AT BAT SHIT: You’re not going to score many runs when you hit into two double plays in your only scoring chances and continuously swing wildly at the first pitch. Nothing was worse than Yadier Molina‘s idiotic at-bat in the fifth. With the bases loaded – the last two runners reaching on walks – Molina came to the plate with two outs and the team down 4-1. So what does Yadi do? HE SWINGS AT THE FIRST PITCH AND POPS OUT! How ridiculous is that?? And so it’s gone all season for this, the most infuriating Cardinals team in history.

UNWANTED ORPHANS: Remember how Tony La Russa hated Bryan Anderson and Adron Chambers with all of his heart and soul? Yeah, those were the days. Now that TLR is gone, these castoffs are getting another look, and they’re making the most of it. In the seventh, Anderson singled, stole second, and then scored on a Chambers triple for the Cards’ second run. Their speed, aggressiveness, and youthful energy is something refreshing on this aging and increasingly-sad team.

MORE WASTE: Only the 2012 Cardinals can find themselves with runners at second and third and nobody out and score just one run. That’s exactly what happened when Molina walked and Pete Kozma slapped a double into the corner. The only run came from the next batter, Skip Schumaker, who spanked a medium fly ball into center to score Yadi to make it 4-3. Then Daniel Descalso proceeded to swing at everything thrown up to the plate and quickly struck out, and that amazing moment in Cardinal history was followed by Carlos Beltran popping out on the infield for the 123rd consecutive time. Incredible incompetence.

MARTE TAKES ANOTHER SHARTE: Bringing Victor Marte into a game should be the equivalent of automatically adding one run to the opposing team’s score. Just tack another run on there and save us the trouble! Marte came into the game with a runner on first and one out, and gave up two consecutive hits to basically end the game. NICE WORK! After the game, I imagine Marte took a bat to the local hospital and clubbed cancer victims to death – same thing. Meanwhile, Matheny stood on the first step with The Stare.

PLAYER OF THE GAME: Um … no.

CONCLUSION: Unlike last year’s team, this 2012 club doesn’t seem to realize that it needs to pull its head out of its ass right now. We keep seeing the same limp early offense, the poor, clueless at-bats, the late-inning bullpen screw-ups, and the glassy-eyed, zombie-like attitude. They are in the wild card race in spite of themselves. It won’t have that position much longer if tonight’s game is any indication.